MY HEAD HURTS.....

by Shameless_Curator, December 29, 2022

It was just two days before Christmas and my love interest and I had just decided to spend Christmas morning together. No fault of his own, it was completely my idea and he complied. Moments leading up to his arrival, I had the jitters but decided that this would be the day that I would share my intentions. Rightfully so, I have expressed time and time again on both the blog and the podcast to go after what you want.



To spare me any additional shame, let's just say after a glass of champagne and some good food, I flaked out because of some inner conversation I was having with myself and decided that moment wasn't the right moment. But when was the right time, I thought to myself as my house guest prepared to leave. The remainder of the day was like a thought frenzy that I couldn’t escape. So in good “Sara J Fashion” I got up the following morning and cranked out a text that reeked of underwhelming execution and hope. Hope that this person that I had met and spent time with would love to do the same, and more of it. Hopeful that I could actually lock this relationship down and prove to myself and others finally,  that I was worth the commitment. And just like I thought, I got the rejection of a lifetime via text message.


While I would love to stay on the topic of rejection and my love life, I would like to offer you some encouragement surrounding how we think about ourselves and people around us. So, in my very short story time, I expressed that I wanted something but internally I thought I wasn't going to get it.. I know, I could have simply replaced my negative thoughts with a positive thought in that moment and got what I wanted.. No, it's not that simple. I want to dig deeper, I want us to assess how we think about relationships and people at the root. Yes, I could have totally thought a positive thought and still made my intentions known, but deep down if I am honest with myself and you, I went into meeting every male suitor with the thought process that I wouldn't get what I wanted out of the deal. Not only did I believe I wouldn't get what I wanted, I also believed that since I failed nearly a decade ago in the area of love, that healthy loving relationships were optional for me, but maintaining them wasn't possible. So, if my heart posture about relationships was on the whim of a positive thought but my mindset was set on not getting what I wanted and if I did get it, I wouldn't be able to maintain it. WHAT'S THE POINT? 


Like really, what have I been doing this whole year hoping to be intentional about relationships but holding my thoughts in contempt of past failures and words spoken over me by others that didn't think I was capable. Fellow reader, this is what I call thought paralysis. And if I am honest, I have this in many areas of my life. I desire to see more and do more, but my internal thoughts about these things are not good. Therefore, even the best of the best couldn't compete with my elected self defeat. So, what does it all mean? What am I even saying to you and myself days before the new year, new me phase?


I want us to stop for just a moment and ask ourselves if we really believe the things we say to our girl friends at brunch or the posts that we share on our socials. Like, from a soul standpoint, do you really believe your marriage can withstand the test of times, or you are really worth being paid what you ask? Or that you can achieve the weight loss goals that you are about to put on your vision board. Or perhaps you are in a similar boat as myself and you come from a lineage that self doubts literally everything and you are producing a different life on a prayer and whimsical hope. If so, we have a lot of work to do. From mental, emotional, spiritual, financial and physical. A whole mindset revamp, and that starts with how we think about the things we want to achieve and undoing how we have believed them to operate previously for us. Uprooting past failures and not allowing our experiences to be the benchmark for what we expect going forward. Also, this means looking at who we have around us, if we are going to change how we think about ourselves and what we want to achieve, we NEED to be around people that have vision. Meaning, our influencers need to have healthy thinking too. If we can fix our thinking we can resolve our outcome, because we will function at the level of our mindset rather than the level of our desire. Or desires can be fleeting, but the root of our thinking is long lasting. TRUST ME!


Now, with that being said I will admit, despite the rejection post Christmas I learned something. I learned that I can produce my own outcome with how I think about it, at the base level. Also, I had the pleasure of learning just how important effective communication is. My head hurts when my mind does one thing and body does another. So, cheers to continual alignment among our bodies and mindset. If you can think your way into your greatness, you can bring your body with you. 


With BIG love & Shamelessness,


Sara J.




P.S For more on this topic, please be sure to check out the podcast...

Season Finale: Its STILL Worth Creating


SHARE 0 comments

Add your comment

© The Shameless Brand · THEME BY WATDESIGNEXPRESS